to love, impossible!

the religion of self : trust is the foundation of love.
the contradiction of self : persisting this love although in great doubts.
note to self : love is fucked up!

" this thing they call love is just one fucked up whirlwind of fucked up emotions! "

> (Josh, 2006)

no, i didnt get fucked and got left out in the cold, according to taugey's belief. i am not bitter with anger, rather very much delusional with confusion. contrary to taugey's belief, im just frustrated with the whole figuring out what the fuck the other person is thinking about.

i was not born with the ability to read minds. so what the fuck?!

i was not born with the knowledge to comprehend all body languages. so what the fuck?!

i was not born with the wisdom to completely understand people, particularly this person i whole heartedly adore! (now say it with me), SO WHAT THE FUCK?!

i dont normally go gaga easily over someone. im rock solid on that. although, i did say -

" no matter how solid the ground i stand, i can still fall at the wake of an earthquake! "

> (Josh, 2006)

the question still remains : do i go through this, may it be the most of pain, knowing deep down its worth it, regardless the outcome?

i once answered yes. last night it became a no. now, it remains again a question.

-

something random : with the exception of friday as part of the weekend, it (the weekend) has been a pretty sober one! (something someone who knows me will understand!)

something more random : i took a dump (shit) while munching on a mcdonald's sausage egg mcmuffin once. just so you know, it was not deliberate, i was pissed (drunk) but unfortunately, it still lingers freshly in my memory!