emo!

" to the land i teared for, i am home,

to the land i suffered for, i am home;

why my cry, a rivers flow,

why my pain, still blossom grow? "

- Josh.Nwn.

i left adelaide feeling this way, and i am back feeling the same. did i miss something or is it just my damn fucked up whirlwind of emotions?

i dreaded every moment i was in miri, to meet people you grow having a level of intimacy with just made the painful journey bittersweet. the greatest thing was not the fact i had fun with these people (i do!), but to slowly gain life's gem - knowledge.

i can't say the 4 months i was in miri a regret because it wasn't to exist, i may not be the person i am today.

how am i different now? self discovery is still on the go, but i FEEL different.

i have come to realise that people i get attached to always come to a departure, or me leaving.

adam, flew to The UK, after a year or so since we met. jill, moved to kuching after half a year or so we met.i came here (adelaide) after a year or so i met nicole. sabun and dodo, flew back to singapore after a year or so we met. i left after 4 months or so when i got close to tingang, ollie and inghui. and suddenly mark has had his life directed to sydney ...

can i blame life for having such a toll? or do i blame theirs?

to scream aloud "NOT FAIR!!", but when has life EVER been fair?

to cry out "WHY!?!", but when has life EVER answer?

i am also a helpless romantic. the couples lovey dovey thingy hasn't been gracious to me either.

do i ever complain? DO I? i keep it to myself. no need persisting it out in the open when to shut up is more fruitful. wait, now its out in the open! hah.

oh, dose me up!