dear you

you said i was awfully quiet. i was.

... i found myself isolated in the serenity of overdosed narc numbness. my eyes were shut in blissful comfort. my skin, felt burnt , not of the sun but to the rising mercury my blood circulated. my throat, desert dry, optioned imaginary saliva in desperation for water. my ears, though deaf, found the pleasure of being so ...

but my little drum still beats to the sound of yours.

... to the wake of realism, i knew why i did what i did. thinking back, i wasn't so much of a consoler. i hadn't said much words that comforts. i hadn't got you the teddy-bear hug liked everyone had. i hadn't got my grotesquely long huge fingers wet, to wipe the art your tears drew on your cheeks. i hadn't ...

but my thoughts played the image of you.

... i realized then, there were options of roles i could play. i could be the bitch friend who would tell you how a substandard of a person he was. i could be the "wise" friend who would tell you why it happened with my rubbish philosophic knowledge. i could be the dumb friend who would try easing your emotional pain with endless supply of alcohol, but then got drunk before you did. i could ...

but i opted for just being me, the friend who, more than just believed in you, but to have faith in the choices you would make, although, had you ought to have the bitch, the "wise" or the dumb instead, it'd be somewhat a pleasure of mine.

" too much of consoling may drag emotional pain into eternal comfort to a point when, consoling became an insincere gesture act of sympathy and emotional pain, became an emphatic begger of solace. while, too much of my piece of mind may unintentionally affirm wrong answers and may confuse an already rugged mind. " - Josh Nawan.

just so you know, im already there for you, with you. regardless. period.

to you. and to whom who calls me friend.

*Josh + Ing Hui